Learning to just be held
Doubt- to be uncertain about (something): to believe that (something) may not be true or is unlikely. : to have no confidence in (someone or something) doubt.”
If you’re anything like me, you could fill in a million things that go along with that definition. I doubt myself; at times, I have little to no confidence in others, and as hard as it can be to admit, I often question God’s plan for me. I talked to my sister last year about how hard it can be to trust other people and feel confident that others’ have a genuine desire to get to know me and how lonely that doubt can make me feel. She proceeded to tell me that Jesus is the only one who will ever truly know me, understand me, and never disappoint me. It seems so simple, but when I’m spiraling with self-doubt, intrusive thoughts, and just pure disappointment, sadly, my first response isn’t to acknowledge that I have a savior that knows me, loves me, and will never disappoint or leave me. As young adults, I’d like to think doubt is familiar for everyone. During this season of life, with all the decisions I’ve made regarding college, who to date, the jobs I’ve taken, and the friends to choose, I’ve found that the only thing that helps me is reminding myself that the only tangible thing in this life is our relationship with God. Remembering that no matter how much I doubt or fear failure, the best thing I can do is bring those concerns to the Lord and sit in His presence. I’m still learning, but the more I practice it, the more I learn to trust that even if every person I meet on this side of heaven disappoints me, if I fail every test in college and never graduate, or whatever catastrophe I conjure comes to pass, that I can always find peace by sitting with the one who loves me more than anybody ever could. It’s a pretty great feeling to know that you can find all the rest and peace of mind in the arms of Jesus, and all we have to do is call out to Him.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid.” John 14:27 NIV
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NIV
So if you struggle with doubt or anxiety, I encourage you the same way I have to remind myself daily to lean into His presence and just be held by the peace that only He can provide.