Confidence and Esteem

Feeling confident in your body, job, skills, or even the car you drive is a great feeling. For most people, including myself, it can be quite difficult to feel confident when things aren’t how I want them. God taught us that we are created in his image and that we are to rely on him. If we rely solely on ourselves, our confidence will waver every time.

Self-esteem is defined as confidence in one’s own worth or abilities, but I feel as a christian self-esteem is having confidence that I am who God says I am. We should feel a strong sense of comfort by simply being a child of God. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” Psalm 139:13-14. Often when things feel wrong and I start to feel hopeless, I know that I can rely on the fact that God created me on purpose just the way I am. We shouldn’t stress much about our own weaknesses. We don’t have to be the best looking, the smartest or the most successful. We’re called to give our best and to trust the Lord to work all things out in our favor. “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.” Jeremiah 17:7

It’s hard to see the bigger picture when we’re clouded by our everyday stress or by anger. But we were made for a specific purpose before we were even born. “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10 For me it’s almost impossible to be negative or to hate on myself when I know that I was chosen by God. “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.” Ephesians 1:4

God loves to do big things with ordinary people. If you feel unimportant and useless know that God will equip you with the skills you need to fulfill your purpose. Isaiah 40:31 “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.”

The Danger of Comparison

There’s danger in comparison.

For weeks I’ve pondered this idea. I’ve thought about the words I would write, the verses I would use, and the advice I would give to you about this simple concept that can be so difficult to grasp. For weeks I’ve focused on all that I wanted to say to you, when I’m the one that’s needed to hear it the most. 

For many of us, the battle is between our ears. We entertain thoughts that cause us to think of ourselves as less than and we compare our lives, our accomplishments, and our relationships to those around us. We stand on the battleground of our mind ready to fight, but we do so with a measuring stick instead of the sword of the Spirit. 

One of the most well known stories in the Bible, the story of Cain and Abel, not only tells a story of envy, jealousy, and resentment, but reminds us of the consequence of falling into the comparison trap. Cain, the firstborn of Adam and Eve, shook his fist at God in frustration when he began comparing his efforts to his younger brother. He envied Abel and blamed God for not giving him what he thought he wanted and needed, which led to his own destruction and separation from God. (Genesis 4:1-16)

Do you find yourself falling into the same trap of envy, jealousy, and comparison? 

“I wish I looked like her.”

“Their relationship is so much better than mine.”

“I wish I had someone love me like that.”

“They’re so much farther in life than I am.”

“I’ll never be able to do that.”

“If only I had ____ like ____.”

Many of us go through life letting these thoughts inhabit our mind, not fully understanding the weight they truly carry. The problem with letting these thoughts camp where they don’t belong is that through them we begin to define ourselves. Rather than reminding ourselves we are fearfully and wonderfully made, we live at the mercy of our insecurities and believe because we’re not ‘them’ or don’t have that, we’ll never be enough. 

Living a life of comparison, as Paul said, is living without understanding. (2 Corinthians 10:12) When we choose to let our insecurities, envy, and resentment take hold and define who we are, we dishonor our Heavenly Father by our self-pity. When we fix our eyes on ourselves and what we do or don’t have, we can easily lose sight of God and of others. Celebrating our friends and their victories will become more difficult because our attention will be soaked up with jealousy, and our harmony with those around us will be swept away by thoughts and negative feelings. 

Friend, you are His chosen treasure (1 Peter 2:9) and He wants to use you just the way you are. He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) His love for you is so great, that He sent His Son to die and give Himself for you. (Galatians 2:20) Who are we to question who the Creator of the universe has made us to be? 

The fact of the matter is, we will ever be enough. We’re flawed creatures in need of a Savior, and if we are going to compare, we must compare ourselves properly. Not against one another, but toward Christlike imitation and fear of God. 

With love, Miranda